returning.

My husband and I returned from our trip to Africa last week.  Returning always causes me to go through an adjustment phase… a new normal seems to form.  And this time, the wicked combination of jet lag and Daylight Savings coming to an end has left me feeling particularly tired.  Please don’t laugh if I tell you that I can’t seem to stay awake past 9 p.m. these days.

Despite the fatigue, I am slowly returning to my usual rhythm of life… for instance

• One morning this week I woke up and realized that Thanksgiving is next week… wow!  I love Thanksgiving… it’s easily one of my favorite holidays!  We are having some dear friends over for Thanksgiving dinner this year which excites me greatly, and I am looking forward to cooking up a feast, but I probably ought to schedule a trip to the market…soon!

• And then, of course, Christmas is around the corner.  I began my gift shopping yesterday because I am NOT the girl who loves to shop with the crowds.  Normally, I would be finished with the bulk of my gift buying by now, but the trip to Uganda set me back a little.  I feel less frazzled and slightly more put together  knowing that I have at least “started” the process.

• I’ve also been finalizing my Project 333 Winter Wardrobe, which I guess will technically start up on December 1st.  My Fall Project 333 Wardrobe was so useful that I’ve decided to keep it going.  I’ve actually had to purchase a couple of new items for Winter — a simple black dress for those winter parties, a new winter dress coat because my old had just gotten way too big, and some boots because ballet flats just don’t make the cut in an Ohio winter!  Overall, I LOVE this new found wardrobe simplicity!

If there is one theme that is reinforced every time I travel to Uganda, it is this:  Less is often much, much more!  It is so easy to complicate everything we do — indeed, everything we are — but we don’t have to live life with such a fast-paced, consumeristic, multitasking mindset.  We don’t have to buy more, do more, or eat more to enjoy the perfection, and true purpose, of this season.  It’s probably very good, and by His design, that this is fresh on my mind as we go into the holiday season with it’s tendencies towards abundance and indulgence.

Sometimes keeping life simple, small, and singularly focused is infinitely more pleasant and can make a far deeper impact.

Small isn’t what keeps us from that grand vision.

Small is what keeps us for that grand vision.

~ Lysa TerKeurst

“Don’t Despise the Small”

fighting for slow.

hush away the hurry
put to rest the worry
come to quell and quiet me
in this moment given
slow and fully live it
drink up all the passing peace

Shaun Groves ● “Awake my Soul” ● from his album Third World Symphony

I feel like I’m fighting for slow.  There are only 18 days until we leave for Uganda, and still many tasks remain before our feet can step onto that plane.  Things like legal documents, malaria medications, instructions for my wonderful parents who will be taking care of my kids, preparing ministry bags, getting my camera & computer equipment ready, collecting notes, cards, and photos for the 172 sponsored children we will be meeting.  Much has been done, but much still is left to do.

But I don’t want to rush.  Not in Autumn.  Not ever, really.  I like a slow pace where days are filled with work, reflection, and ritual… where there is space between the work… where life is intentional and authentic and I have time to think and gaze and be.  And sip coffee.

I keep listening to Shaun Groves’ new album, Third World Symphony, and I always seem to repeat that fifth track — Awake My Soul.  The lyrics grip me… “hush away the hurry… put to rest the worry… come to quell and quiet me… in this moment given… slow and fully live it.”

And that is what I keep asking of God —

… that He would keep my eyes open wide, fixed on Him in this moment
… that He would help me pace myself
… that I would drink up all of His passing peace
… that I would be able to look around me at this amazing season and soak in the sights, sounds, smells

If you have a little more than 4 minutes to slow down today, this video, with excerpts from Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts, emphasizes the beauty and importance of the moments of our lives.

I just may take the long plane ride to Uganda to re-read this book.

intense light.

The kids and I went to the Farmer’s Market recently.  It was a beautiful morning, and after walking the street lined with plants, produce, and homemade baked goods, we ducked in our favorite little French bakery for coffee, baguettes, and pain au chocolates.  At the booth just outside of the bakery, we purchased these strawberries to round out our breakfast.

They were lovely.  Bright red.  Piled high in a nostalgic little wooden basket.  I tried hard to get a good shot of them, but I was really struggling with the position and intensity of the sunlight.  I tried all kinds of things to improve the shot, but nothing seemed to work — the light spilling in from the window next to our corner table was just too bright.  The shadows too dark.

Intense light reveals intense darkness.  It’s like that in photography.  It’s like that in life.  Isn’t it?

The funny thing is there are many things technically wrong with this picture, but I like it.  I like the way the light makes the berries shine. The way they sit ready to be eaten by eager little hands.  The way they remind me of a slow morning walk where we must have looked like a mama duck leading her little ducklings, littlest one lagging behind.

Close-up photography does something almost unexplainable for me.  It takes the littlest and simplest things — the ones that seem almost insignificant — and elevates them into treasured, frozen moments that remain with me for a lifetime.

true service.

“Self-righteous service is impressed with the big deal.  It is concerned to make impressive gains on ecclesiastical scoreboards.  It enjoys serving especially when the service is titanic.  True service finds it impossible to distinguish the small from the large service.”

~ Richard Foster

Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth

small.

I heard something several months back… can’t remember where, though.  It went a bit like this:

Be simple, hidden, quiet, small.

This quote reverberates in my mind often, particularly when pride rears it’s ugly head… when arrogance & selfishness threaten anything pure… when flesh wins over spirit… when I sense that I am striving… when I lack a contented heart… when my restless soul wants to run… when my energy reaches its end… when I’m serving out of my own strength.

Today, I read a post by Lysa TerKeurst which, for me, followed a reading of Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline.  Both raised so many thoughts on humility, being hidden, quietness, smallness, solitude, submission, simple living, and service.

Mind racing, soul penetrating thoughts. 

Wanted to share a few of them today in this quiet, small space of mine.

From Celebration of Discipline…

Without silence there is no solitude.

…

The purpose of silence and solitude is be able to see and hear.

…

… infatuation with natural human powers and abilities without any dependence upon God.  That is the flesh in operation, and the flesh is the deadly enemy of humility.

From Lysa’s article “Don’t Despise the Small”…

I see the place from which humility is birthed.  That glorious rare quality that doesn’t take too much credit.  That knows real success is laced with upward glances, bent knees and whispered praises to the only One. The One.

…

The small we should not despise.

The quiet nurturing taking place, the unfolding, the stir beneath where none can see.

…

But for the soul that has tasted small, humility becomes their richest fare.

…

Oh the beautiful gift of small.

…

Small isn’t a belittling of one’s calling nor an indication of one’s future.

…

Small isn’t what keeps us from that grand vision.

Small is what keeps us for that grand vision.

Words help me, and I am thankful for what the Lord revealed to me through their words over the past few days.